Dating and the single girl…

This is the post excerpt.


The pressure to find “the one”

Catching up with a close friend she asked me how my dating life was, you know the usual questions you ask your single friends.

Obviously there is no dating life and the last guy I spoke to her about it fizzled out in a matter of days – standard.

I mentioned things he did, things I saw and things which cringed me out… a lot of things cringe me out.

So moments after she stopped howling of laughing she said I could write a book with my dating life. So I took her wise words on and here I am… I haven’t wrote a book obviously but I’m blogging.

I can’t be the only one whose having this ongoing battle with dating?

So here we go. I’ll go in details of my life, dating and whatever else comes to mind.

26 and single

I’m 26, soon to be 27 and I’ve been having the ongoing feeling recently that I’ll be left on the shelf, gathering dust.

Should I be settled down by now?

Perhaps in a serious, steady relationship where we cook each other dinner, do the Tesco shop together and console each other through the emotional parts of films.

Dating in 2017

So, the whole dating thing… It’s not what it used to be.

Honestly, there are so many dating apps which I’ve tried… you know the ones POF, Tinder, Bumble etc.

Continue reading “Dating and the single girl…”

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

I would say about 85% of the time my guard is up, perhaps because I am protecting myself or because my senses of men being plain fuck boys is at a heightened point where I can literally sense them in a 20 mile radius.

This barrier, this wall that has formed up around me, it’s here because I have been hurt in the past. Now a lot of people can most probably form an understanding of that, and sometimes I wish it wasn’t there but I know it’s just protecting me. It’s there for a reason, I guess.

Now, it is easy for myself or others to say “Just go with it, enjoy whatever it will be”. But when those alarm bells ring and you are sat there thinking “Nope, this isn’t right”. Then you need to be real, it most probably isn’t.

That is what you call your intuition

It’s a bloody brilliant thing we have been blessed with. And no, it’s not because those women who are ‘sensitive’ or ‘damaged’ that they can sense these things, it’s because the people who are giving off those vibes are pretty much stupid and have been found out.

So you have a couple of options when you sense these things. It’s a bit difficult, I mean, you have to hold back a little and have some of that self respect if you’re going to make someone feel like a prick via a message, it’s always great to do it with some dignity, then followed by a block and delete if there face annoys you. Cut them out of your life.

Unlike one of my close friends, she literally just blocks people. Piss her off once, and you’ll be in that blocked box. Queen B. B is for Block, but I guess you figured that out. Cut that contact and move on.


Never be that girl who takes that shit. Because it will eat you up. Honestly, there’s so many beautiful women who I know who have relationship problems where they are feeling uneasy and constantly put themselves down. It’s actually upsetting to see, because you can’t tell someone something they don’t want to see or believe.

I think the hardest thing for me, is when I start to feel like I have gone back on my word and started to believe those lies or slightly look over those signs. I know I’m a strong woman, I know I can take a knock back or a slight bit of upset, you know the whole dust yourself off and carry on scenario.

I’ve seen it all before, BUT it’s very easy for me to give out this ‘amazing advice’ and be the ‘best agony aunt ever’, but taking my own advice and reminding myself that I am not seeing things – nope – hardest thing. It’s not easy.

The other day I even had to read my previous blog on fuck boys, mainly to remind myself that a) It was a great blog and I felt great writing it and b) I wasn’t seeing things and my fuck boy radar was still on high alert.

But, I’ll be honest. I did let my guard down recently, and for once I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed getting to know someone where there’s no pressure. That feeling when you feel happy when you receive that message. You know the one.

I spoke too soon obviously. But it was a good learning curve for me again *rolls eyes*.

I found myself questioning me. And I promised myself to not do that. I found myself thinking “Is it me?”. And no, it is bloody well not. So as soon as that started, it’s game over. I’m too old for that nonsense. I’m too wise for that.

It’s one of those things where this is what dating is about. Dating is about getting to know someone, figuring someone out and finding out things about them. It’s where you get to suss out what sort of character they are.

I understand not everyone can be the perfect person, but I think you have to have that respect for one another. Once that has gone, it will be stale. No-one wants something stale.

But I will say one thing that I’ve always told myself…

If someone makes you feel like you are not good enough, then that’s when it’s time to call it a day.

If someone makes you feel sad through a vibe or how they have spoken to you or done something, you’re not over thinking, you’re picking up on a sense and your intuition is giving you that little heads up.

And I always listen to that. I always trust my feelings.

Now, I understand that it’s easy to get sucked into this happy zone when you’re freshly dating someone and innocently ignore some things that occur but it’s important that you remember to think of yourself too.

Somethings that I might think raise alarm bells, someone else might not think so. And that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Everyone is completely different in what they want, what they see and how they feel.

Someone said to me the other day, “the best things happen unexpectedly”. And perhaps they’re right.

For now, I will not put all my eggs in one basket.

I will continue on my path to where I want to be, focusing on me, filling myself with positivity and calmness whilst reminding myself to not expect anything less that what I deserve.

After all, the blunt, overly honest, outspoken woman that I am has remained strong.

Cheers to my intuition and those friends who support me and remind me that when you know, you know.

2017 – what a year it’s been

I can’t believe 2017 is nearly over. Soon we will be entering a New Year, seeing all those “New Year, New Me” statuses with a few of those ‘page 1 of 365’ pictures on Instagram.

I’d like to take the time to reflect back to not what I would have changed in 2017, but what I have learnt about myself. Which to me, is so much more important to what could have been. I mean, there’s no point dwelling is there?

So, what will I take forward to 2018.

1. Learn to have a voice, you can just say “no”

I need to say no more. It’s one of those things where I am such a “Yeah, ok maybe” or “Yeah, that’ll be nice” person – when really I am thinking “I’d rather not” but I am actually too nice, and don’t want the awkward confrontation.

I would rather cancel last minute. Especially when arranging dates etc. I just don’t see the point of doing something you don’t get excited about. If I don’t instantly feel intrigued or get those fluttery feelings then why bother. I need to be excited and wowed, you know?

Sounds bizarre, but I have tried this recently – A guy asked me on a date when I was at my bar job – I literally said “No thank you, I am not ready and I don’t want to waste your time” – I’ve never seen anything like it, he stormed off, left his pint and was proper aggy.  I must have hurt his ego (to be fair, it was in front of his mates), but would he rather I have said yes and cancelled last minute – what’s a mans thought on this… do you like to be lied to, to save your ego?

Anyway, I intend to be more of a “no” person. I’ll be polite about it of course, I am not always blunt and upfront about things (sometimes).

2. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself

I tend to blame myself for situations that happen. For instance if something doesn’t work out the way I planned it in my head, then I would be hard on myself and find a reason for why I didn’t help the outcome.

I am unsure why I do this – it’s one of those things where I think I am not good enough or I would think “What did I do…” or “I should have done this differently”.

Quite frankly, I need to just chill out.

So, regardless if things don’t work out the way I planned it in my head, then that’s ok. It obviously wasn’t meant to be. And as my Mum always says, “things happen for a reason”. 

3. It’s good to meet new people

I always thought that as you got older, the more difficult it was to make new friends.

But, I was actually wrong.

Over the past year I have met so many new people who have actually become good friends to me, friends who I can trust and friends who are inspirational to me, those who push me in the right direction.

I have realised this year, who is good to have in my life and who is not.

I have realised what friendship is and who makes me a better person.

It’s just nice to branch out of your usual circle. You can meet new people you never thought you would form friendships with, and it’s just healthy.

And for that, I would like to thank those that have been there for me, I would like to thank those who have encouraged me and made me stronger.

4. I am in control of my thoughts 

I am quite proud of myself with what I have achieved this year.

I’ve gone from being the over thinker who would get no sleep because I was worrying about something I said 4 years ago (slight exaggeration), to the girl who takes a few deep breaths and reassures herself.

For me, over thinking and those uneasy thoughts feel as though you’re carrying this dark cloud over you. I would over think situations such as something I said, or if someone didn’t like what I did or how I did something.

Now this can affect you in so many ways, through work or at home as it can be hard to stop – it’s not like you can leave your thoughts somewhere and walk off is it.

But, the mind is an amazing thing. You can teach it to do things, you can help yourself with so many various techniques which do actually reduce those anxious feelings.

So far – touch wood, I’ve had it under control. The over thinking has reduced, I’ve been strong and for once I feel like I am in control, I am in control of that feeling which pulls you down.

5. It’s good to look after yourself

I’ve always been one of those people who like to look after themselves, from eating well, to training and generally being in good health.

But it’s only recently where I have started to push myself more, and the reason for this is because exercise is so good for releasing those ‘happy hormones’.

I’ve never been that person who can lie in bed all day. Forever a morning person – I just love starting the day right and being  motivated. It’s just a good way to keep myself on a level which I am content with.

I am a big believer of doing things for you, and me looking after my health is not to please anyone, it’s not to change other peoples views on me, it’s to help me, to help me to be a better version of myself. And I absolutely love it.

As crazy as it sounds, I enjoy being thrashed in the gym once a week with a Personal Trainer, I enjoy knowing I’ll be aching the next day and I enjoy my tins of fish I take to work daily. As I always say “Don’t knock it till you try it!”. 

I’ve always been told “a little bit of what you fancy now and again won’t do any harm”. So I’ll enjoy the occasional Pick n’ Mix from Wilko, and a large Savvy B.

6. Just keep being positive, keep being me

To ensure I keep myself in that ‘positive’ zone, I like to do things that make me happy.

I interact with those people that bring out the best in me and keep me positive. There’s no better feeling than being with your closest friends who just smother you with happiness, laughs and love.

Its easy for someone to come into your life, message you out the blue and swarm you with negativity – now I pick up on vibes quite quickly. Some people have a natural instinct where they can sense vibes. It’s like when someone says “you can cut the tension in here with a knife”. Those people have picked up on a vibe. It’s just an awkward, uneasy feeling.

I’ve learnt to be strong, especially when dealing with unexpected  situations such as messages or comments.

I like to remind myself of a few things:

  1. That persons opinion of me is irrelevant
  2. You don’t owe that person a reaction, they don’t deserve your thinking time
  3. The block button was invented for a reason

Small changes make big impacts

It took me a few days to form this list of things I will take forward to the New Year, however the list is small but the changes are big.

I am just typing away, feeling quite content with how I feel right now.

For once, I feel quite empowered. I feel as though I have achieved a lot in a year.

And for the first time in a long time I am looking forward to more changes and challenges.

So thank you 2017, thank you for giving me time to realise what I am, who I am and what I can do.

Rachel x

Tinderella or Cinderella

For the first time in a while I can say that I have got no dating apps on my phone…

Yes I know – is this a miracle?

What’s happened to me!?

For everyone getting overly excited thinking that I’ve met Prince Charming, I haven’t… well not yet anyway.

But I’ve found something else.

I have found the confidence within to be okay with being single.

And for once I can say after a couple of years, I quite like it.

It’s one of those things that I started to realise after a while that Tinder is brilliant for those who are recently single and want, well, let’s face it – for those who just want a bit of fun here and there, you know…

What newly single person doesn’t want to be told they look good and be taken out for dates? … Exactly.

I personally feel that it is great for a newly single person to get out there, experience things you haven’t experienced with your previous parter and to not be shy about the whole ‘moving on’ aspect.

Yes, it can be daunting but lets be real here, sometimes it’s healthy to just get it over and done with, be that sassy single girl and enjoy whatever happens.

Otherwise, you’ll be 6 months in and the worry of dating and thinking of what to do on dates will kick in. No one has time for that.

And if you’ve been talking to someone and he’s asked you out on a date, just go and enjoy it – Don’t be shy!

The honest truth

Let’s be honest now, Tinder is like a quick fix at meeting new people – a social media for the dating world one might say.

And after a few weeks / months of swiping, meeting people and disappointing dates the whole ‘Tinder Fun Phase’ does actually wear off.

You’ll be swiping through casually on a Tuesday night and using it as a form of entertainment.

It can’t be just me who has swiped through judging people on it… can it?

It’s either they’ve had a hard paper round or they don’t know how to move their arm further away from their face so they can actually get a selfie which doesn’t allow you to see up their nose.

The messages men send too. I’m all for a bit of a laugh but after a while the cringe messages became all too common for my liking.

The last message completely did it for me.

I think this message made me realise I have not got the time or energy to deal with people such as this.


Lads – if you’re out for one thing take note.

Don’t ask stupid questions such as this.

It won’t get you anywhere and we won’t add you on snap chat.

Also adding ‘haha’ onto the end of a sentence will not make it funny. I did not laugh.


The dates, the plates and the let’s just be “mates”

The only way I can explain dating on tinder is that it became a chore after a while, perhaps because I lost interest.

I found myself scrolling through as I generally thought I was missing out on something in the whole dating world.

You spend time getting to know them via messenger etc and then it’s like, they become annoying – as bad it sounds, it’s 100% true.

You end up forming this conservation with them that you really can’t get out of unless you just ghost them.

Ghosting: when you completely cut yourself off from them as if you never existed.

I’ve tried to be honest before about not wanting to see someone again, and they read it and then blocked me.

Made me re think the whole “honesty is the best policy” quote.

But let’s face it, when you forget who someone is and you’ve been talking to them for several days I think it’s safe to say it’s not going to end in that fairytale way.

My last tinder date I had was several months ago, it was actually ok, and that’s saying something.

The usual dates consist of me wondering if they have a problem, racist or generally have issues.

There was a few things that made me glad I drove myself there but, it wasn’t the worst date I’ve had, nor was it the best.

However I just felt that I wasn’t really into it. For once I didn’t care.

I wasn’t fussed about going there or being picked up so I drove myself – which is unusual for me.

We had a nice meal and then we went our separate ways – very civilised.

I wasn’t even willing to give the guy a lift home as he had one to many G&Ts so he got an Uber.

Yes it may be mean, but we’re all adults, we all know our limits.

And quite frankly, I didn’t want the awkward goodbye encounter in the car.

If it comes to the time I get bored of dating guys from Tinder, then you know it’s time to delete that app and just enjoy whatever life throws your way.

So that’s what I’ve done – and it’s refreshing.

And that’s it, I’m now Tinder-less.

I’m enjoying it!

I’m going to learn more about what I want and what I like and what I dislike.

Focusing on me

I’ve really enjoyed finding out more about me and what I want.

And I think the awful dates and cringe situations has helped me realise this.

So, this whole being single thing makes you realise what you actually deserve.

In my past relationships I was never spoiled or taken out to nice places, told I was looking good or even given that sudden feeling of excitement.

Now, I’m finding out that I do deserve that.

I deserve the excitement.

It’s crazy how it’s taken me this long to figure it out.

For now, I’m grateful to those around me who have made me the strong person I am now who have helped me be a better version of myself.

So, cheers to all the single ladies out there who have felt the same way I have and who sometimes need that extra bit of encouragement.

Believe in yourselves and be happy in your own skin.

Everyone will get their happily ever after, just sometimes you have to be patient ❤️

What will be, will be

Earlier on today I came across an article “8 Things That Happen When You Meet A Nice Guy After A Narcissistic Relationship”


And all the points made perfect sense to me.

As I was scrolling through I found myself looking at them and thinking back to how I felt when I was at my lowest. When I lost who I was.

Thinking back to how I felt when I was treated that way, that’s something I never want to go through again.

Having to feed someone’s ego constantly is humiliating. At that time when it’s happening, you feel as if you have to do it.

You feel as if, if you don’t you’ll lose them.

So now going forward, I still feel affected by it.

How can one experience with someone who didn’t deserve you affect you so much?

How can you become so reliant on them giving you those rare compliments that whenever someone compliments you now, you brush it off as you don’t see what they see in you?

It is difficult when you’ve been through something draining like that, to then have to be in that mindset that everyone is not the same.

You have to teach yourself to embrace those compliments, to enjoy the company of others and most importantly to be able to love yourself again.

I was told recently that if I was given two jars, one for what I like about myself and the other for those things that I don’t like about myself I would be able to fill up the second jar quicker.

Unfortunately for me, that’s true.

I get asked often, how can I be single. And sometimes I brush it off and laugh with the whole “oh waiting for mr right” – but deep down I do feel that it’s such a big step for me.

What and who is mr right?

The thought of me, meeting someone who treats me the complete opposite way than what I’m used to fills me with happiness.

I see my friends with their partners who treat them so well and of course it makes me feel that I wish I had something like that.

However, I honestly don’t think I would know how to deal with it. I think I would be overwhelmed.

Ever since, I’ve been alone I’ve been in the whole “what will be, will be” mindset.

Mainly because I am able to read someone’s behaviour quickly, so I can tell what their motive is.

Perhaps that’s my gut instinct talking to me.

Perhaps I have to let my guard down slightly and enjoy right now.

What will be, will be.

Be a better you

If you have been through it and experienced anxiety, worrying or that nervous, uneasy feeling you’ll understand what I mean when I discuss the issues in my blogs.

I tend to write my blogs when I feel inspired. This is mainly when I’m in the gym having some ‘me’ time – I write notes in my phone with thoughts that I have.

So before I was told I had anxiety I used to worry about everything, don’t get me wrong I still do however I have discovered coping mechanisms and I try not to get to trapped in my thoughts. …(Sometimes easier said than done)

I remember I used to go out and it was as if I had a chip on my shoulder. That constant on edge feeling like I was being looked at or spoken about or even judged.

Even last night I experienced this and I had to snap myself out of it and remember that I shouldn’t care what others think and I should just enjoy myself.

My friend reminded me that those people could be looking at me because they like what I’m wearing for instance, etc. So I had to think of all the positives, which I did.

It’s nice not worrying.

Dancing away like you don’t actually care who is watching you. Apart from the guy in the corner of the bar who I accidentally bent over in front of whilst dancing.

In my defence I didn’t see him. Then ever since that bending over moment, there he was…

But anyway, when you’re in that mind set where you think everyone is against you it’s horrific.

You feel like the whole world is on your shoulders and even the slightest thing could make you flip.

However last night I enjoyed myself.

I felt happy, confident and care free.

The 2-4-1 cocktails definitely helped!

Noticing those changes

It was another moment where I realised I am now aware of my thoughts and most of all I’m in control.

I am in control on how I treat a situation and how I feel about it.

It’s hard, don’t get me wrong but it’s do-able.

Where as before I was adamant what was happening was solid fact, and nothing or nobody could change my mind.

But now, I am trying to take a step back.

I’m thinking more positive and not letting the negative vibes over power me.

Talking about it

So I had my first session of my therapy. This is like behavioural change therapy. Where they help you change how you deal with situations and find the route cause. To enable, a better you.

Anyway, I actually imagined the place in my head.

I thought it would be like what you see on TV. A long chair where I’d lay down on and the therapist will have a clip board and ask me to close my eyes – Clearly I have watched way to much TV. It was the complete opposite!

So all in all I get 6 sessions, the therapist leads every session. I just open up to her and answer questions.

Session one wasn’t what I thought it would be. I wanted to get all my thoughts out all in one go, she knew that too. However this was where she was getting to know me and notice my behaviour.

With me I get a lot of what I call, “word vomit” – I just say it.

I could say something and someone would take offence to it.

She exclaimed how that’s my anxiety taking over. It’s my mind just wanting to get it out the way and hurry as I’m in a constant rush. I don’t really know what I’m rushing for still.

She could read me like a book. The first time ever someone hasn’t said I’m cold or blunt.

The first time I was able to talk to someone and not feel like they think I’m exaggerating.

That was a relief and a load of my mind.

It was interesting as she compared anxiety as to me battling a saber-toothed tiger. Now you’re probably thinking what on earth… but it’s where my mind is on overdrive and I’m trying to battle with this tiger before I can continue.

Sleepless nights

I discussed with her that I have a lot of sleepless nights.

That’s where the tiger comes in, before I am able to fall asleep I have to ‘battle’ this tiger – my mind is on over drive and I’m over thinking.

It is natural for people to think more when they’re in bed – what person doesn’t?!

You’re still probably thinking what on earth is she waffling on about, this bloody saber-tooth tiger.

But it all makes total sense to me.

Also, for those who have sleepless nights my friends recently got me this cream called ‘sleepy’ from Lush.

And it really works! It helps you drift off into a natural sleep. I use it regularly and can’t rate it enough.

What’s next?

Your mind is so strong where someone or something can change your whole day, so it’s good to focus on something else to help prevent those negative thoughts.

It’s one of those things for me where I find writing these blogs quite therapeutic.

There’s so many things out there to do which can help change your thoughts and your mind set.

I’ve had so many people come forward to me for advice and even to discuss issues which they they feel they would like help with.

And I can’t thank them enough as it’s so nice that people are reading my blogs and taking in what I write about.

I feel proud of myself for being positive and for not becoming upset by situations that previously would really get to me.

I’ve woken up today feeling happy, strong and determined to achieve more. Not to mention feeling hangover free which is an absolute bonus!

Remember, a positive mind, makes positive changes.


“For every sauce pan there is a lid”

I popped in after the gym to see my Nannie.

As always I ask if she needs anything opened or anything done whilst I’m there, but tonight it was just a new foundation which she couldn’t open properly.

As I opened it, she pulled out a new lipgloss from her bag which she brought for me.

My favourite – coral in gold.

As I applied it in the mirror to admire the new shade I could hear her sighing in the living room. I thought she might have missed neighbours but no, she was sighing over the fact that time is going too quickly.

“27 soon darling, where does the time go”.

My instant reply was “I know Nannie, 27 and I’m still unsure what I’m doing with my life”…

She looked shocked at me, but the way she reassures me is lovely. I’m sure everyone by now knows Nannies famous saying “for every sauce pan there is a lid”

Over a cup of decaf coffee and a slice of homemade pie she looked at me and told me I am a lovely girl. I think I’ll forever feel like a little girl when I’m with my Nannie. Life is simple when I’m with her.

We continued watching her favourite soaps on the telly and talking about when we’re next going for bingo. She then began to tell me that this generation is not like it was when she was younger.

I think she’s either been watching too many soaps on the telly or she’s been earwigging on the bus again but she came out with “youngsters these days, it’s all about the sex” – I didn’t ask where she heard about the ‘sex’ but I listened politely as you would do. Whilst enjoying my pie.

She continued:

“When I was younger you would let the man court you, let him do all the chasing. Enjoy each other’s company and get to know one another – take things slow. You deserve a man who has a job, treats you well and makes you proud”.

Nannie is one for her cute wise words. She continued to say that she knows this is my year. (Even though we’ve got a few months left of 2017) – I’ll take what I can get!

“I take every day as a blessing darling” she said.

As she handed me my birthday card and cuddled me she said “enjoy every moment”.

She is too cute.

At 26, I still blow her kisses from my car whilst she waves me goodbye from the window.

I drove home and thought about all she said. She was right, it’s not the same as it used to be in our parents and our grandparents generation.

I’m 100% certain if I met a guy the same way my Nannie met my Grandad he would get bored with me and bugger off!

I agree that it’s nice to take things slow and ‘court’ but I 1 million percent don’t want to waste my time or someone else’s when I’m not even sure what I want if I don’t get that vibe from them. It’s all about that vibe.

To be fair, knowing my luck I’ve probably met my soul mate but I’ve already told him to “fuck off” – but on a serious note I’m going to take my Nannies advice and take things slow. I don’t really know how much slower it can get though…

I wonder if 27 will be a different age, do I increase my age of man I go for… extend my search criteria on Tinder or do I start going to more swanky bars where older men go and sip whisky?

Then again, I am out for cocktails this weekend but I know it either goes from me being completely civilised to me ending up holding my shoes in a kebab shop waiting for cheesy chips. But you never know…

Being true to you

I was slightly unsure whether to write this blog.

It’s a bit different from the previous blogs I have written, however I want others to know that sometimes it’s ok not to be ok.

Sometimes it’s ok to be unsure on something and ask for help.

An insight into my story

I remember back when I didn’t know who I was. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise the person who I had become.

The girl who was once confident, outspoken, carefree…disappeared.

I was so worried of making someone else happy I forgot to look after myself.

Constantly putting myself down over everything, trying to change who I was, exercising ridiculously just to get that attention from someone who wasn’t even nice to me – it was baffling.

Now when I look back, I would have done things so much differently.

I would have walked away when I had the chance, I would have listened to those who cared for me and I would have stopped being so hard on myself.

I regret a lot. But there’s some things in life which happen to make you stronger.

Now, I’m the sort of person who bottles things up in general.

I wouldn’t explain how I feel and I would take on so much that I would then explode.

It’s me either protecting myself or not wanting to be a burden on others.

Hearing people say “don’t exaggerate” or “you’re over thinking” was the hardest thing to hear. In my mind, I wasn’t doing either of those things.

I became so confused and angry in how I felt I took it upon myself to go for help. Now, this was the biggest step for me and something I was scared to do.

And that’s when I was told it isn’t me over thinking, and I wasn’t being dramatic.

I was told I have anxiety. This has come from me being stressed and being pushed to my limits.

For those who are unsure what anxiety is, it’s a constant heaviness on your mind.

It’s a feeling of unknown, and being overwhelmed with your own thoughts and emotions.

You can feel as if things are speeding up or slowing down.

You constantly feel on edge and more alert to situations around you and you feel as though you’re being looked at or spoken about.

This can play tricks on your mind and become totally exhausting.

Its a horrible experience but I can’t press enough to say that it is normal.

We all go through situations in our lives which will push us to our limits, and it is unpleasant however I’ve learnt that it’s good to talk.

Someone once told me that a trouble shared is a trouble halved, and that was the case.

One way of thinking about anxiety is to imagine your stress levels being like a bucket of water.

The more stress that’s added to the bucket, the more it’s going to fill up, then overfill.

I was given lots of advice and help which is what I needed, and most of all that little bit of reassurance.

I was taught techniques on self help and how to cope with my emotions.

So, the reason why I’m blogging this today is to help those out there who feel how I felt.

I’m not ashamed to have gone for help and I am actually happy I did.

The hardest part of it all, was to actually admit that I needed someone to talk too.

I was aware of the issues going on and knew I needed something to change because… I missed me.

So, for anyone who is feeling like this or could do with a little bit of reassurance please remember:

It’s good to talk

Talk to someone you know who listens to you. Ask for help and don’t bottle your feelings up.

Read a book

Reading books is such a good relief for stress and anxiety. I’ve recently been reading a few motivational books, it sounds silly but books that can help your self esteem and how you can change how you see things.

Motivational quotes

I absolutely love a motivational quote. When you’re feeling a bit down or you want some reassurance these quotes can be so powerful.


Those who know me well will know I love my work out routines.

It’s something I do to help me focus my mind on, and it’s good for you.

I set myself goals and seeing changes in myself can not only improve my confidence but also it changes how I feel about me.

It gives me a bit of a boost, and that’s all you need sometimes.


This sounds daft, but I sometimes forgot to breathe properly when I was stressed. It’s important to work on your breathing, especially when you feel that you’re becoming tense or stressed. Count to 10 before you react to anything, and be in control.

Treat yourself

Now I’m not saying you should buy yourself something ridiculous and be broke.

But go out with your friends, dress up, let your hair down and enjoy!

Know your worth

Most of all, remember you’re worth a thousand times more than those people who have put you down and made you feel like that overfilled bucket of water.

Take time out

Have some time out.

Take it easy for a bit and use your “me” time wisely to unwind.

Enjoy every day and focus on being true to yourself.

Your past is in the past, it doesn’t define you. You’re in charge and in control of now. Enjoy every moment and embrace who you are.