For the first time in a while I can say that I have got no dating apps on my phone…
Yes I know – is this a miracle?
What’s happened to me!?
For everyone getting overly excited thinking that I’ve met Prince Charming, I haven’t… well not yet anyway.
But I’ve found something else.
I have found the confidence within to be okay with being single.
And for once I can say after a couple of years, I quite like it.
It’s one of those things that I started to realise after a while that Tinder is brilliant for those who are recently single and want, well, let’s face it – for those who just want a bit of fun here and there, you know…
What newly single person doesn’t want to be told they look good and be taken out for dates? … Exactly.
I personally feel that it is great for a newly single person to get out there, experience things you haven’t experienced with your previous parter and to not be shy about the whole ‘moving on’ aspect.
Yes, it can be daunting but lets be real here, sometimes it’s healthy to just get it over and done with, be that sassy single girl and enjoy whatever happens.
Otherwise, you’ll be 6 months in and the worry of dating and thinking of what to do on dates will kick in. No one has time for that.
And if you’ve been talking to someone and he’s asked you out on a date, just go and enjoy it – Don’t be shy!
The honest truth
Let’s be honest now, Tinder is like a quick fix at meeting new people – a social media for the dating world one might say.
And after a few weeks / months of swiping, meeting people and disappointing dates the whole ‘Tinder Fun Phase’ does actually wear off.
You’ll be swiping through casually on a Tuesday night and using it as a form of entertainment.
It can’t be just me who has swiped through judging people on it… can it?
It’s either they’ve had a hard paper round or they don’t know how to move their arm further away from their face so they can actually get a selfie which doesn’t allow you to see up their nose.
The messages men send too. I’m all for a bit of a laugh but after a while the cringe messages became all too common for my liking.
The last message completely did it for me.
I think this message made me realise I have not got the time or energy to deal with people such as this.
Lads – if you’re out for one thing take note.
Don’t ask stupid questions such as this.
It won’t get you anywhere and we won’t add you on snap chat.
Also adding ‘haha’ onto the end of a sentence will not make it funny. I did not laugh.
The dates, the plates and the let’s just be “mates”
The only way I can explain dating on tinder is that it became a chore after a while, perhaps because I lost interest.
I found myself scrolling through as I generally thought I was missing out on something in the whole dating world.
You spend time getting to know them via messenger etc and then it’s like, they become annoying – as bad it sounds, it’s 100% true.
You end up forming this conservation with them that you really can’t get out of unless you just ghost them.
Ghosting: when you completely cut yourself off from them as if you never existed.
I’ve tried to be honest before about not wanting to see someone again, and they read it and then blocked me.
Made me re think the whole “honesty is the best policy” quote.
But let’s face it, when you forget who someone is and you’ve been talking to them for several days I think it’s safe to say it’s not going to end in that fairytale way.
My last tinder date I had was several months ago, it was actually ok, and that’s saying something.
The usual dates consist of me wondering if they have a problem, racist or generally have issues.
There was a few things that made me glad I drove myself there but, it wasn’t the worst date I’ve had, nor was it the best.
However I just felt that I wasn’t really into it. For once I didn’t care.
I wasn’t fussed about going there or being picked up so I drove myself – which is unusual for me.
We had a nice meal and then we went our separate ways – very civilised.
I wasn’t even willing to give the guy a lift home as he had one to many G&Ts so he got an Uber.
Yes it may be mean, but we’re all adults, we all know our limits.
And quite frankly, I didn’t want the awkward goodbye encounter in the car.
If it comes to the time I get bored of dating guys from Tinder, then you know it’s time to delete that app and just enjoy whatever life throws your way.
So that’s what I’ve done – and it’s refreshing.
And that’s it, I’m now Tinder-less.
I’m enjoying it!
I’m going to learn more about what I want and what I like and what I dislike.
Focusing on me
I’ve really enjoyed finding out more about me and what I want.
And I think the awful dates and cringe situations has helped me realise this.
So, this whole being single thing makes you realise what you actually deserve.
In my past relationships I was never spoiled or taken out to nice places, told I was looking good or even given that sudden feeling of excitement.
Now, I’m finding out that I do deserve that.
I deserve the excitement.
It’s crazy how it’s taken me this long to figure it out.
For now, I’m grateful to those around me who have made me the strong person I am now who have helped me be a better version of myself.
So, cheers to all the single ladies out there who have felt the same way I have and who sometimes need that extra bit of encouragement.
Believe in yourselves and be happy in your own skin.
Everyone will get their happily ever after, just sometimes you have to be patient ❤️