Dates … you can get some good ones and some bad ones. Coming from my personal experience I would like to give you all the insight into dating… what to do, what not to do, and what you should be wary of.
Leading up to the date
So it’s your first date and he’s asked if you want to go out for dinner. You’ve been talking for a few weeks so obviously you do, food is great and you like him – why not!
You have the whole “what do you fancy?” conversation. It’s like “well what do you fancy?” “I don’t mind you choose”. Usually it’s an Italian restaurant… everyone likes an Italian restaurant.
To drive or not to drive
It’s always nice to have the offer to be picked up. But, make sure you know him well before hand. That’s really important… imagine if he picked you up and it was a bit awkward.
It’s good to keep your own safety at the front of everything. Make sure you let your friends know where you are, send them a location message on whatsapp and let them know how it’s going. Be wise!
And just think, if you were in the car with him there, you’d have to get a lift back from him… the awkward goodbye is never something we need to happen. Leaning in for a kiss on the cheek to say bye and he thinks you’re leaning in for a kiss on the lips – no thank you.
You have to think of your outfit choice, if you’re a messy eater like me, avoid light colours. Opt for a dark colour, and use a napkin over your lap. As much as it’s tempting to tuck it into your top like a bib, just don’t. You’re trying to make a good impression.
If you know you’re going to have carbs and you bloat easy, just wear a nice top and jeans – make sure you’re comfortable!
You want to look nice but don’t go too over the top. Show some cleavage but don’t have all your tits out. You don’t want to give him the wrong idea, plus it’s nice to save a little bit of that for another time – keep him guessing.
Be seductive and sophisticated.
Now, this is the make or break. What’s your first vibe. Is he on time, is he late, did he get lost and have to call for directions even though you gave him the address. Google maps is a thing people!
It’s a definite winner if he smells good, and it goes a long way to compliment him. And it’s always nice to receive one. It’s nice to be told positive things about yourself.
Talk to each other
You should know some things about him already. You should have already seen his social media, had a good browse and seen what he’s about and spoke to him on the phone.
You don’t want to go there not knowing much.
As much as people say “you can ask him on the date”. Well can you? What if it’s awkward and he’s hard to get a discussion flowing with.
Get to know his interests and go from that. Be interested and listen. We’re all guilty of nodding and smiling when really we are wondering where the waiter is as you want to order.
Avoid the negative chat. If he brings up his ex more than once he’s not over her and is thinking about her.
If you bring up your ex, you’ll just scare him off.
So basically, avoid the ex chat. Save all of that for a later date.
I definitely think that no one should feel like they’re being judged by their food choice on a date.
I remember when I was on a date, I ordered a pizza. We all know the pizzas in zizzi, come on it’s easy to demolish one of those and I was starving. I ate it and he actually said “hungry were ya”. What actual nerve did he have. If I want to demolish a whole thin base pizza I will thank you very much.
But anyway, there’s also no point ordering something you know you don’t like.
A previous date of mine ordered a chilli. He then said he didn’t like chilli or onions.
What is the main ingredient in a chilli… CHILLIES AND ONIONS.
I couldn’t cope.
Also, no one should say “I’ll have what their having”. Be independent. Because on date 1 if they’ve said that it’s a definite possibility they’re going to make the joke “do you want to try mine?” even though you have the same meal.
If you’re sat there with your arms folded it’s very guarded.
Relax, try and be comfortable and don’t be too serious.
Have an alcoholic beverage and loosen up – Not that loose tho.
Flirt. Don’t be shy and hold back. If you like him and you’re flirting hopefully he’ll get the idea. It’s healthy to fancy someone and flirting is fun.
However don’t be to keen, for instance don’t start sucking your finger or licking your lips in a sexual way.
Remember it’s date one and you’re out for dinner. Keep it PG.
Can we have the bill please?
I always offer to pay half. It’s polite but, let’s be realistic, it’s nice for the guy to offer, it’s such a gentleman thing to do – especially on date 1.
And if he asks to put your money away, offer to buy a drink either there or a bar after, that gives you the chance to spend some more time with him as well – clever eh?
Well, only if there’s really good chemistry and you’ve got definite you know, feels.
There’s nothing worse than going home thinking that you wished you kissed him. Because if you’re thinking it, he’s thinking it. We’re all thinking it.
If you like him, tell him. You be confident and tell him you’ve enjoyed his company.
I have always felt that honesty is the best policy.
In most occasions… don’t tell him too much though, you don’t want to frighten him.
It’s natural to go home after the date thinking how well it went and then suddenly your feelings can change.
If you’re unsure about things re think that second date. He could have done something that could have really turned you off or scared you.
A guy messaged me a few days before our second date. The caption said “when the lads want Nando’s and your girl says come have chicken at home” – it was an actual picture of a naked woman, taped up with her arms like chicken wings with a gag in her mouth – legs open the lot.
So I did what every other female would do. Took a screenshot and sent it to all my friends to ask their opinions.
Everyone’s opinion was the same.
Just listen to your gut instinct. I mean, does any man actually think that’s pre second date picture message material? Like, I think some men would send a picture of their bits, you know. Not a woman taped up like a chicken.
The moral of the story is, date. Enjoy it and have fun.
But stay safe. It’s easy when you’re feeling a bit vulnerable to go on dates with men to fill that gap but do it when you’re ready.
There’s absolutely no need to rush anything or to throw yourself into something when your mindset isn’t in the right place.